this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
