Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This can only be settled by a dance off.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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