I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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