GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
