No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
