Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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