Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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