The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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