You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza