are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
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i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
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I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today