I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
