Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize