Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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