just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
