Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
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How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
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So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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