I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
