i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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