Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
