I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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