I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.