Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
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It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.