dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??