So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?