This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.