I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
