im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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