she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My ATM looks so different sober.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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