We're facebook friends in real life
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
