you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
