actually, I'm a sock model
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
