college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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