That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
