why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
