dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
