Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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