I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
