haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
