Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize