two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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