dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
