Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
