We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
