member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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