Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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