she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize