Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
