I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
