i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize
