I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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