I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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