Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Houston, we have a blender
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
