whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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