I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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