one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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