She is in my trunk
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My brain says no but my pants say off.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Randomize
