sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize