Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
In America we eat man semen.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
