I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
