i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
