she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
