he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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